Non Tasarmi, Fratello!

“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!” Hillaire Belloc

Friday, August 31, 2007

Mel Brooks Moses

Maybe there IS a commandment to recycle!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Thou Shalt Not...

What? Thou Shalt Not Not Recycle? I missed that one...

"Dom Anthony Sutch, the Benedictine monk who resigned as head of Downside School to become a parish priest in Suffolk, will be at the county’s Waveney Greenpeace festival this weekend to hear eco-confessions in what is thought to be the first dedicated confessional booth of its kind.

Vested in a green chasuble-style garment made from recycled curtains, and in a booth constructed of recycled doors, he will hear the sins of of those who have not recycled the things they ought to have done and who have consumed the things they ought not to have done."

Dolt.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

St. Roch, Patron Saint of Dogs

 

I'm on a dog kick, so here is the patron saint of dogs - St. Roch.

Here's part of his story:

French noble who early developed a sympathy for the poor and sick; reported to have been born with the image of a red cross on his breast. Orphaned at age 20, he gave his fortune to the poor, and became a mendicant pilgrim; may have been a Franscican tertiary. While on pilgrimage Roch encountered an area afflicted with plague. He stayed to minister to the sick, and affected several miraculous cures, usually by making the sign of the cross over them, but contracted the plague himself. He walked into a forest to die, but was befriended by a dog. The dog fed him with food stolen from his master's table, and Roch eventually recovered.
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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Feast of St. Augustine

 
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"Great are you, O Lord, and exceedingly worthy of praise; your power is immense, and your wisdom beyond reckoning. And so we humans, who are a due part of your creation, long to praise you - we who carry our mortality about with us, carry the evidence of our sin and with it the proof that you thwart the proud. Yet these humans, due part of your creation as they are, still do long to praise you. You arouse us so that praising you may bring us joy, because you have made us and drawn us to yourself, and our heart is unquiet until it rests in you."
- Confessions, Book I

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Michael Vick is Coming!

 


QUICK! HIDE!
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Monday, August 27, 2007

Michael Vick Pleads Guilty in Dog Fighting Case

What does this have to do with religion? I'll explain:

After pleading guilty, Vick said, “Through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and have turned my life over to God.”

He better hope God doesn't turn his life over to St. Francis of Assisi.

And don't forget that God spelled backwards is...

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Father of the Bride

I never knew that in a traditional Catholic wedding, the father of the bride does NOT escort the bride-to-be to the altar.

Or so says Father Fox.

Let's say...

 


Let's say you're a member of an organization founded by a priest who was excommunicated, and you're on a pilgrimage in Denver. And let's say you want to have Mass offered at the local Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception.

The answer will be NO.
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Friday, August 24, 2007

Tag Team Confession

Can spouses receive the sacrament of reconciliation together? Father Dietzen says, "Sure".

Dr. Peters says, "Not so fast."

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Feast of St. Bartholomew

 


One of the 12 apostles, Jesus called him "an Israelite... incapable of deceit." Not much is known for certain about him, but most agree he (along with St. Jude) brought Christianity to Armenia where he was eventually martyred by having the skin flayed from his body. The depiction of St. Bartholomew you see is from Michaelangelo's "Last Judgement" where we see him holding his flayed skin - although the face on the skin is (or so it is thought) Michaelangelo. His remains ended up in Rome in St. Batholomew All'Isola in the late 10th century. That church was built on an ancient temple dedicated to healing - hence, St. Bartholomew's connection to the art of healing and why there are so many St. Bartholomew Hospitals. He's also the patron saint of tanners for obvious reasons.
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Monday, August 20, 2007

Feast of St. Bernard

 

St. Bernard (1090? - 1153) was a mystic and is a Doctor of the Church . And not just a any Doctor - he's known as "The Mellifluous Doctor" (which coincidently was my nickname in high school). He was by most accounts the most influential Catholic of the 12th Century because he helped end the schism of 1130 and was the main voice of conservatism during the so called Renaissance of the 12th century. He also preached in favor of the Second Crusade (thanks to the influence of King Louis VII), which ended in a thrashing for the good guys (that would be the Catholics).

He is considered the second founder of the Cistercians monks, who split from the Benedictines when they thought the Benedictines were getting a little too undisciplined. You know - late night pizza parties, ringing the doorbell of the convent and running away, telling people that for penance they had to hop on one foot to the altar to say their Hail Marys. That kind of thing.

He is most definitely not the guy they named the dogs after...that was St. Bernard de Menthon.

The painting is "The Vision of St Bernard" by Fra Bartolommeo, painted around 1504.
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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I Can't Wait Until the Next Youth Mass!

Jesus Was a Cool Dude
(To the tune of "We Will Rock You")

Jesus was a cool dude,
40 days with no food,
Then he wrote the golden rule and that's O.K.
He's got love on his face,
Full of grace!
He's spreadin' his word all over the place!
Singin', We will, we will
Praise him yeah, praise him WOO (2x)

Singin', we will, we will praise Him! Praise Him!
We will, we will praise Him! Praise Him!

Satan is a liar, destined for the fire
Thinks he's gonna fool us, but that's OK
He's red in the face, because we've won the race
And Christ is gonna put him into his place

Jesus is a cool dude, I'm telling you He loves you
You may not be perfect but that's OK
Put a smile on your face, to show God's grace
Don't you know He shed His blood
To take your place

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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Useful Idiots

 
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From the Catholic News Service:
"WAPPINGERS FALLS, N.Y. (CNS) -- In late July, carloads of curious Catholics caravanned north from their church to a mosque in the next county.

Three dozen Catholics who regularly attend Mass at the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement's Graymoor Spiritual Life Center in Garrison accepted a Muslim visitor's invitation to attend services at Masjid Al-Noor, his mosque in Wappingers Falls."

From Wikipedia:

"In political jargon, the term "useful idiot" was used to describe Soviet sympathizers in western countries (particularly in the United States) and the alleged attitude of the Soviet government towards them. The implication was that the person in question was naïve, foolish, or in willful denial, and was being cynically used by the Soviet Union, or another Communist state.

The term is now used more broadly to describe someone who is perceived to be manipulated by political movement, terrorist group, or hostile government, whether or not the group is Communist in nature."

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Want Some Water?

 
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Dan Pineau hands out peach water at the Peach Festival. Not many takers.

Reek Sunday

 


We missed it. July 30th was Reek Sunday in Ireland.

St. Patrick went to the top of this mountain to fast for 40 days and 40 nights in the year 441. At the end of his fast he threw a bell down the mountain, which banished all snakes and serpants from Ireland. The mountain is called "Cruach Phadraig" or St. Patrick's Mountain. The locals call it "The Reek". Why? Beats me.


Anyway, on the weekend of July 30th more than 30,000 pilgrims made their way up to the top on a pilgrimage. Hence, "Reek Sunday".

Those wacky Irish.
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Saturday, August 04, 2007

I'm Back to Blogging

I've been away. I'll explain later. In the meantime, here's Sister Mary Martha's suggested letter from a parish priest to the Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist:

"Dear Eucharistic Ministers,

We thank you with the love of Christ, but for the love of Christ, please don't wear open toed shoes if you have horrible looking toes, wear crazy nail polish, toe rings, have bunions or otherwise distracting or nasty looking feet.

Also, please refrain from showing tattoos, your knees, the upper part of your arm no matter how often you work out, or any other flesh between your collar bone and your upper calf. If you are a man, please don't show any flesh below your collarbone. This means you! Wear some socks!

Don't wear wacky colors, boas, leis, giant jewelry, feathers, huge hats, or bullet proof vests. Don't wear things that clack, jingle, jiggle or beep. Since your feet are alreacy covered, do we need to mention the reason some footwear is called 'flip-flops'? No flapping footwear. No tap shoes. No cleats.

Please don't show up in jeans, workout clothes, track suits, beach attire, togas or pajamas. If it says "Nike" on it, swoop it back into the closet.

Don't wear costumes...unless you actually are a cowboy, a fireman, a caveman, or a madam...in which case we'll know to work on saving your immortal soul all the harder.

Sincerely,
Your Parish Priest