From Eye of the Tiber, of course...
Los Angeles, CA––The Virgin Mary statue at the entrance of Our
Lady of the Angels Cathedral in Los Angeles announced today that it was
becoming evermore frustrated and frankly rather confused by the amount
of mockery it has received since it was first created. The
8-foot-tall, modern representation of the Virgin Mary told Eye of the
Tiber that ever since it was created in 2002, it has been the butt of
jokes, scoffs, and laughs by visitors who pass it, despairingly adding
that it has oftentimes wished it could just call in sick. “I guess I’m
just more confused than anything else,” the statue said from its station
above a pair of bronze doors. “Of course I’ve never looked at myself,
but I’m a statue of the Virgin Mary, you know? How bad can I look?
People stare at me as though I look like some kind of veilless Jedi with
a boy-cut or something.”