Mexican President Obrador Calls For Border Wall To Help Keep Out Drunk College Students From Entering Country During Spring Break

Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador took to national television Tuesday night in his battle over his proposed border wall to keep out drunk college students from the country during spring break.

Describing the situation at places like Cabo San Lucas and Puerto Vallarta during the months of February and April as a “growing crisis,” Obrador urged Congress to give him close to $97 billion pesos to keep out “undesirables.”

“This is a crisis of debauchery—a crisis of the heart and of the liver,” Obrador said. “For the Mexican people, it is a mental crisis. Yes, we make money during these months, but at what cost?”

Obrador went on to say that every year, “hundreds of thousands of Katlyns, Brittanys, Tiffanys, Taylors, and Kaitlyns pour into this country from different sororities every year, endangering the mental security of the Mexican people.”

“That’s not even counting the wolves that accompany many of these women—the Brads, Chads, Dillons, Zachs, and, of course, Connors,” the President went on to say.

In a brief joint response from Southern California, Fraternity and Sorority leaders Chelsea and Dax accused Obrador of being lame.