WORLD CUP UPDATE - Argentina 1, Switzerland 0

Argentina's national team stunned Switzerland in the 118th minute of the match with a goal by Angel Di María on a sweet pass from the greatest player on the planet. But the repercussions have been severe.

The Argentinian Pope Francis "began taunting us before the game even began", said Swiss Guard Frankel Blickensderfer. "He just wouldn't let up. I mean, it was sorta funny at first, but it's really hard to taunt him back. You know?" Fellow Swiss Guard Juerg Federspiel added, "He was saying stuff in Spanish, and we told him we couldn't understand what he was saying.So  he switched to Latin and then just laughed and laughed."  Guardsman Linus Girtman said it finally got to be too much. "When he started screaming GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL afterDi Maria scored we had it. So we all left the Eternal City and went home."

And that's when the trouble started...

Sack of Rome