Spokesfetus
U.S.—According to sources all across the country, a caravan of unborn
babies has formed to head toward Alabama in an attempt to avoid the rest
of the country's barbaric abortion laws.
The unborn humans, mostly residing in the wombs of pro-choice mothers, learned of the new law as their moms watched CNN and listened to NPR. Each of them would then sneak out of their mom's womb in the middle of the night, slip into a state-of-the-art artificial womb they ordered on Amazon, steal their mother's car, and make a break for the Alabama border.
"All we want is a chance to live the American Dream---or really, just live, to be honest," a spokesfetus said. "Since the rest of the nation is one of the deadliest places to be in the whole world when you're an unborn child, we were forced to come here for the future of our children, so we might live."
"Honestly, as unborn children, it's safer in a third-world country like Venezuela than here."
The unborn humans, mostly residing in the wombs of pro-choice mothers, learned of the new law as their moms watched CNN and listened to NPR. Each of them would then sneak out of their mom's womb in the middle of the night, slip into a state-of-the-art artificial womb they ordered on Amazon, steal their mother's car, and make a break for the Alabama border.
"All we want is a chance to live the American Dream---or really, just live, to be honest," a spokesfetus said. "Since the rest of the nation is one of the deadliest places to be in the whole world when you're an unborn child, we were forced to come here for the future of our children, so we might live."
"Honestly, as unborn children, it's safer in a third-world country like Venezuela than here."
Labels: Babylon Bee
posted by jope @ May 20, 2019
<< Home