I Wouldn't Be Surprised If It Wasn't Satire

VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has called for a time of mourning within the Catholic Church after the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris burned earlier this week.

The period of mourning is said to be a time of weeping for the extra carbon dioxide emissions let off into the air from the fires.

"It is so tragic to see this beautiful, 900-year-old building go up in smoke---smoke that will continue to change our climate, the most pressing spiritual issue for the church today," Francis said. "As I saw the flames leap upward toward the sky, all I could think of was the bleak future we are contributing toward as our kids only have a decade left on this planet."

"Hail Mary, full of grace. Please cool our planet," he then muttered in a heartfelt prayer.

Pope Francis has encouraged Catholics to purchase indulgences to help rebuild the building and buy carbon credits to offset the damage to the climate the fire caused.

"Whenever a carbon credit purchase rings, another soul from purgatory springs," he said.