Islamic Update Part LVIII, Satirical Edition

From an earlier post on this blog:

Pope Francis spoke to the diplomatic corps and amongst other things, said, "Hence it is important to intensify dialogue among the various religions, and I am thinking particularly of dialogue with Islam."

Meanwhile... (FYI - you should begin reading James Lileks blog every day, but this is from National Review):
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CNN News
April 5 2015 3:07 p.m.


ANCHOR: We return now to Vatican City, where earlier this morning — Easter Sunday, as it is known by the people who call themselves “Christians” — an explosion demolished Saint Peter’s, a basilica that many say symbolizes the gap between the wealth of the Church and the poverty of many countries. Jen Bleuper was at the scene when the explosion happened. Jen, what are you hearing about the explosion?

JEN [remote in Rome]: what
ANCHOR: I said, what are you hearing?
JEN: Not a lot, my ears are still ringing.
  
ANCHOR: All right, we’ll return to her in a moment. To bring you up to speed: Earlier today a seemingly coordinated attack on the structure was carried out by four men who ran a van through the crowd, emerged with shoulder-mounted missiles, and demolished the centuries-old structure. The death toll is unknown; it is not clear whether the pope, who was speaking on the balcony — angering some, perhaps, by restating some points of Catholic dogma many in the Church regard as out of step with the times — it is unclear whether the pope has survived, or whether this event might make the Church rethink some of its teachings. We — ah, it seems Jen’s hearing is better. Jen, what news from the scene?

 ANCHOR: Jen, do we have any idea who did this? Is anyone claiming responsibility?
JEN (remote in Rome): Witnesses say only that the black van had black flags with some sort of white squiggles and that the four men were masked, wearing checked scarves, shouting — and I wrote this down . . . here. They shouted, “All of Hugh Agbar.”