In Heaven, There is No Baptismal Beer

 Pope Gregory IX

From Canterbury Tales :

 Pope Gregory IX in the 13th century decreed that baptisms by beer were invalid. Apparently this had happened in a region of Norway where water had not been available. The Holy Father had to write to the Archbishop of Trondhjem in Norway to settle this matter - literally to settle the sacramental matter.

Pope Gregory IX decreed: "Since according to the Gospel teaching, a man must be born again of water and the Holy Ghost, those are not to be considered validly baptized who have been baptized with beer {cervisia}."

I wonder what would happen if I baptized someone with: